I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
