Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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