our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
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ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
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So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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