im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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