I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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