I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
is that a dick in a sweater?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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