he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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