I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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