Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Randomize
