i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
