I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
