Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
