white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
