Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Moan for me like Helen Keller
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
