i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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