pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
