You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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