You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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