You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
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Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
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Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
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