Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
