hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
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I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
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If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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