How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
