Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
