Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
