glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
