I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
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