Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
