i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
