Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
