You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
