Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
