don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
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