There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
