I seem to have left my pride at pride
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
