Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I just forgot I was standing up.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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