I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
false alarm. still invincible.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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