To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
