We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
