If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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