so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
