what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
third nipple confirmed
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
