she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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