is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
