My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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