i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
So squirting runs in the family.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
