No awkward lesbian experiences without me
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Randomize
