I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize