It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
