I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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