I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
