You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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