Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
There's even glitter on my cock...
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
