I'm lost and stupid without you.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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