Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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