i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
and you fell through a lawn chair
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
