do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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