i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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