No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
She announced her abortion via fbk
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
