Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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