I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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