Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
He did a backflip because drugs
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
