Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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