I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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