i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
