The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
